Bruises On My Heart
by DarkElements10
Summary: They always say you're nothing without your fans. There's truth in that. But some fans...some fans take it to heart and their idols become their property. Literally.
1. Prologue

**Bruises On My Heart**

 **By: Riley**

 **Summary** \- **They always say you're nothing without your fans. There's truth in that. But some fans...some fans take it to heart and their idols become their property. Literally.**

* * *

 ** _P_ r _o_ l _o_ g _u_ e**

* * *

 _So here's the thing._

 _I follow you._

 _I follow you online. I follow your videos. I follow everything you have to say. I'm your follower. But not just your follower, I'm your biggest fan. I take everything you say to heart because I feel that your words are truly genuine. You know exactly how to pinpoint what I'm feeling when I don't know how to express myself. Your songs saved me that way. They saved my life. I've been lost, broken, unsure of where to go, drowning and choking in the anxiety and the unknown, and your songs spoke to me as you felt the same way. I've been following your career since it started and I want nothing more than for you to see as much success as you deserve._

 _The thing is, I feel like I know you. As a person. So that we're much closer than a celebrity and a fan. Sorry, I know you hate that, to be referred to as a celebrity. But that's what you are. You're a celebrity. To others who feel that there's too much distance for you them to transcend, but I can. And we have. I'm so much more than you fan but at the same time, that's all I am. Your fan. And I will always be your fan. So I'll follow everything you do and support everything you do._

 _The thing is, though, you don't see me. You're engrossed in your own life, with your own friends, and working past the demons that haunt you. I can tell. I can always tell when you're sad or angry, I can see it in your eyes in photos and videos. I can see it when you act differently during meet and greats or when people run across you. You'd do anything for your fans, you always say, and that sets you apart from the others. So that when you are sad or upset and fans notice, they get worried or mad because you're not fully 'on' and I defend you all the time. They have to know that you're still a person. They quickly backtrack and say they don't mean to be rude but I think they get the point._

 _And so when the days comes that we meet, I'll be sure to let you know everything, all of this, and how much you've changed my life when I allowed you into it. And, hopefully, you'll allow me into yours._

* * *

 **A/N:** Unlike a lot of my other stories that have my OCs in this, this one is focused almost entirely on Riley and Rhuben. Their brothers, McFly, Busted, friends, family, and managers are all just as important but it focuses on the two girls. I haven't done this style of writing in a while but for this story I've found it's the best way to write it.

Also, I wanted to explain why I'm doing this story in place of (for now, as I do think I can redeem it) _What Happened To Your Band?_ As I've been working on WHTYB I realized I was getting stuck for two reasons 1) I didn't make it a standalone story and instead chose it to be a sequel to _Down Goes Another One_ (which, as much as I enjoyed it, admittedly is rushed and showed I was coming up with ideas as I went along because Harry's issue basically came out of nowhere and didn't have much of a good ending) and 2) I treated it as a origin story when _DGAO_ should've been, let alone not making an origin story in the first place.

For those that don't know, Rhu and I refer to stories where we introduce our OCs—or in this case _re-introduce_ an origin story while all the others ones in that fandom are stories in their own right. In this fandom, upon retrospect, I didn't need to do that. As much as I cringe upon re-reading those stories (Ii still enjoy them, though as I remember the fun I had writing them) their origins were already explained within our first McFly stories _Welcome To My Life_ and the now deleted _No More Secrets, No More Lies_ (and our possible future upcoming co-write/re-write of those stories) _._ Treating _DGAO/WHTYB_ like one shouldn't have happened and I should've just treated it like it's own story; like this one!

Anyway, here's the first chapter to _Bruises On My Heart_ , I hope you enjoy it.

 **Cheers,**

 **-Riles**


	2. You Think You Know Me

**Ch _a_ p _t_ e _r_ O _n_ e**

* * *

Riley Jackson-McGuire glanced at Patrick the second they turned from their microphones and leapt onto the massive cases lining the drum sets on the stage. He glanced back at her as the two turned their backs to the ground, standing high above the stage, continuing to play the last few seconds of guitar that led into the moment in the song where everything fell away.

Standing atop the case, Riley looked down at her twin, Rhuben, and Patrick's twin, Noah, as they momentarily finished drumming and stood up at their kits, hands overhead as they held onto their drumsticks. On Patrick's other side, their youngest brother, Sydney removed his violin from the folded area between his neck and shoulder, leaping atop a case on the very end of the stage.

One look passed between them, with Rhuben nodding subtly to Riley. Not that they needed the nod, Riley could tell from watching her sister, noticing the way the muscles in her hands, forearms, and legs tightened, signaling she was about to move. Just like they planned it from the very beginning, just like they did every time they performed the song.

 _"Way away, away from here I'll be!"_

Riley glanced at Patrick once more, he gave her a quick look back after confirming with Sydney. Perfectly in sync. The three focused, watched Rhuben and Noah drop themselves back onto their stools, slamming their drumsticks onto their snare drums. At the same time, the three tensed their leg muscles and used the following upward motion to launch themselves up and over in a backflip. They landed on the ground at the same time the music kicked back in, Riley's and Patrick's fingers striking the chords needed to start the end of the song with Sydney's violin cutting in as well.

 _"Way away, away so you can see.."_

The three moved back to their microphones to sing the last parts of the chorus, looking out toward the screaming sound in front of them. Watched the waving hands fly back and forth, the rock fingers being thrown to the beat of the song, saw the faces with their features twisted up into angry scowls of determination as they screamed the words back to the band.

 _"How it feels to be alone and not believe."_

The music stopped, the band pointing to the audience for the words to be screamed back to them. The exact moment in the final song every 'true fan' grew to love as they performed the earliest of their songs over and over in their career.

 _"Feels to be alone and not believe."_

The punctuation that proved how closely the fans regarded their idols as they performed on stage. The punctuation that made it so that the band could feel and absorb the energy the fans gave back to them each time they played a show. No matter how bad of a day they were having, hanging out with their fans while performing was always able to put a big smile on the Jackson-McGuires' faces. Made it that much easier to jump into their stage personas and put on a hell of a show.

 _"Feels to be alone and not believe…anything!"_

Riley, Patrick, and Sydney backed away from their microphones, pumping their bodies along with the drum beats that Rhuben and Noah pounded out to end the song, holding it out a bit longer than the recorded version that had been consistently played over the Australian radio airwaves. Once it finished, the cheer of the audience went up so loud that the rafters shook and a low tremble rumbled beneath their feet on stage. They handed off their instruments to their handlers before turning to the crowd to wave.

The cheering increased as each of them stepped forward. First it was Sydney, who beamed to the crowd with a smile so big his dimples were on full display. Then came Patrick and Noah, who created a stir from the crowd when Patrick pulled off his sweaty shirt and lobbed it into the crowd while Noah tossed his drumsticks this way and that. Then Riley and Rhuben got in on the action as they jumped up onto the monitors to wave to the crowd, Riley throwing out guitar picks she ripped off her mic stand along with the drumsticks Rhuben threw.

The two stepped back alongside their brothers, looping their arms around each other before giving a final bow for the audience. They bent low, holding their bow for a few seconds before standing up straight to give one final wave. Finally, they bounded off stage, leaving the screaming crowd behind them.

Fans who were lucky enough to be on stage with them, congratulated the band as they moved into the wings, throwing phones into their faces to take quick pictures.

 _"Can I get a picture please?"_

 _"Can you say 'hi' to my friend?"_

 _"Will you sign this?'_

 _"Great job, tonight!"_

 _"I had so much fun."_

 _"This was the best show ever."_

They smiled with every fan, posed for every picture, stopped to sign everything that had been throw in their faces. They were nothing without their fans, and were very aware of it. It wasn't anything they took for granted. Their fans were there for them each step of the way of their career; from when they started out with nothing but poppiest of pop music in their repertoire to some of their darker alternative rock, back to the punk-pop roots they enjoyed, continuing to be fans even when they went in some of their more experimental directions.

Every band deserved time to spend with their fans for, in all actuality, they were nothing without them. No fans, no band, no music to continually be produced. It was that simple. Whether the money and the fame was what drove some, it was ultimately the fans that kept them going.

Finally, once the area was clear, the Jacksons bounced against each other, laughing and congratulating each other on another show well done before coming together in a sweaty group hug that was caught on camera by their eldest brother, who hovered around, holding onto a large camera, strap wrapped tightly around his right wrist. Once he got the shot, he lowered the camera and whipped out a phone, taking another picture and a video.

"Yay!" Their niece, Robin-Renee cheered, clapping her tiny hands together. She stood off at the side of the stage, bouncing up and down with the energy that only a three-year-old could put in such a tiny package. With each bounce, the massive protective ear muffs she wore threatened to fall around her shoulders. And yet, she continued to bounce around with each song, beaming back at her mother and father between each other. "Yay."

Rhuben swooped forward and gathered her niece in her arms, making Robin-Renee squeal with excitement, before latching onto her aunt like a koala bear. She smiled and waved at the production crew who swarmed the stage, ready to take the instruments and sort them—what was of the Jackson-McGuire's personal collection to be brought home, and what was to be put into storage. That's what they were now, once that last note was hit they were no longer Blazing Phoenix, but were back to their normal selves.

Riley closed her eyes, letting out a long sigh as the adrenaline wore off her. (Not that it'd ever truly be gone, she'd be buzzing for the rest of the night, putting her sleeping pills to good use. Hell, it was a miracle they worked at all while she was on tour). Wore off Rage, if she were being more specific. Not that Rage wasn't her and she wasn't rage; but Rage was a heightened part of herself when she was in the public eye. A second entity that was her stage persona to ensure those lives could be kept separate. And, if she were being completely honest, she couldn't quite imagine Rage to be so domestic.

Not in the way she'd immediately turned to Noah and said, "Put down a towel, yeah?" as he flopped onto the couch in their dressing room. Her natural, accented inflection made it sound like a question though it was anything but. Short of a demand, more of a gentle reminder. It wasn't their property, they couldn't destroy. Not after what happened last time.

Noah merely raised an eyebrow in response, stretched out across the couch, his feet planted firmly on the floor but otherwise lanky body stretched over the couch. Riley mimicked the movement, using both of her eyebrows instead, and Noah closed his eyes.

Noah let out a long sigh, as if the weight of the world rested on his means to get a towel, stood up, and crossed the room to the refreshment table to grab five white towels, tossing them out to each of his siblings. Riley caught hers in mid-air and mopped it over her face and neck, lifting the back of her shirt to mop up the sweat there. Finally, when her legs couldn't keep her up any longer, she collapsed onto the couch next to her twin and draped her towel over Robin-Renee's head.

Robin-Renee squealed and pulled it off, tossing it back into Riley's lap. "Auntie Riley, you're silly."

"Silly's not the word I'd use," Rhuben remarked. She smiled when Riley elbowed her in the side and leaned into Robin-Renee's face, blowing a raspberry on her cheek. "You think she's silly, Nee-Nee?"

Robin-Renee smiled and poked Rhuben in the nose. "Auntie Rhuny's silly, too."

"Ah, fuck, so long as it's not just me." Riley shrugged and picked up her phone from her pile of belongings on the floor by her couch and angled it above the three. Riley pressed her face close to her sister's, the two showing identical smiles, and captured the image of them and their niece.

She quickly captioned it _Backstage hangs with Robin-Renee_ and posted it to her Instragram. Within seconds, thousands of likes and comments flickered on screen, prompting her to back out of the app and go to her texts. Some from their lifelong friends that'd been at the show that night, some from record execs and others in the business they had to keep up appearances with, one from Matt the recruiter, who'd been one of Ronan's best friends for years, and some of her other friends.

She zeroed in on the group chat she and her siblings had with some of their best friends in the industry, McFly, and smiled.

 **Tom:** Watched the livestream on the telly, you guys killed it!

 **Harry:** Lol, are you trying to sound street now, Tom?

 **Dougie:** He's afraid of the dark, mate, he's not that street.

 **Danny:** Probably doesn't even know what street we're on.

 **Tom:** _You_ don't even know what _country_ we're in.

 **Danny:** But I'm not afraid of the dark, eh?

 **Harry:** Bottom line is, Tom's afraid of the dark, Danny's stupid, and you lot did amazing.

Riley chuckled, reading the conversation out loud, making her brothers and sister all laugh. "Sounds just about right," she commented. "The lot can hardly have a conversation without tearing each other's ass part, yeah?" And yet, she couldn't help but let out a quiet and fond, "boofheads" while continuing to read the conversation. James Bourne, Charlie Simpson, and Matt Willis had given their two cents on the show as well, equal to their personalities; _Great songs, great band_ _,_ _Rad show; the tunes were awesome_ , and _Tune!_ with fire emojis next to it.

While James, Matt, and Charlie were great friends to the Jacksons, it was Tom Fletcher, Danny Jones, Dougie Poynter, and Harry Judd who certainly were some of the craziest people the Jacksons had ever met and, if they were honest, a bit closer to considering their first US tours were with each other. But that was only in comparison to Riley and her siblings, if she were being completely honest. Once they started to work together, all bets were off for those who were part of their personal lives in staying sane. Once they got together, all bets were off.

"So, what's next?" Patrick turned from the catering table, shoving a handful of grapes into his mouth. He chomped down at once, making the juice dribble down his chin and land stickily on his chest.

"A bath." Rhuben grabbed her towel and threw it at Patrick, where he effortlessly caught it against his chest. "Get some manners, loser."

"Sorry, jerk-face, I don't consider you company where I need them." Nevertheless, he wet the corner of the towel with the tip of his tongue and scrubbed it against his chest. "Anywhere, you didn't answer my bloody question. What are we doing next?"

"We're going home." Ronan McGuire announced his presence as he walked into the room. Behind him was their eldest brother, Julius, and his wife, Brittany. Robin-Renee beamed as her parents kissed her atop the head, but continued to play with the ends of Rhuben's hair, giggling at her aunt every time she feigned pain with her hair being pulled. Ronan went around the room to his adoptive children—and his clients—giving each of them a high-five. "This was an amazing final show; you guys should be proud of yourselves."

"Uh-oh," Sydney sing-songed from where he sat on the floor, legs stretched out, phone resting in his lap. The light of the ceiling caught it and Robin-Renee glanced down, stared at his phone for a minute, then strained her chubby hand down, trying to grab it. Sydney picked up his phone and absentmindedly handed it to her, nodding at her, "Thank oo, Syddie," before saying, "That's Ronan speak for 'there's something I have to tell you'."

"What is it this time?" Noah's voice was muffled from the towel hanging over his face. He pulled the towel from his face and said, "We have to go to Japan and go on another one of those crazy game shows?"

"Those game shows were fun," Patrick declared.

"You weren't the one who had jacks shoved into their feet," Julius murmured. He sat in a nearby folding chair at the catering table, scuttling through the photos he'd taken over the course of the night. "Or had baby powder flung in your face."

Patrick smiled. "That's why it was funny."

"You cheeky wanker," Julius murmured, cuffing his brother over the back of the head. Patrick grinned and went to the couch, dropping down onto Noah's lap before Noah could move out the way. Julius lifted his gaze from the camera and said to Rhuben, "All the shots I've left in the first half can be posted, the second half are for you to decide or for personal use, yeah?" He handed her camera to her which she took with a grateful smile.

Rhuben took her camera and carefully set it aside. She leaned back, bouncing her knees up and down so that Robin-Renee continued to jostle around. She turned her attention to her adoptive father. But, in that moment, he wasn't her father. He was her manager, he as her music producer, he was someone they all had to listen to carefully. "What's up, Ronan?" She asked. "Is everything alright? You sound kind of weird."

"I'm fine," Ronan said quickly. He waved off the accusation then started to absentmindedly smooth down his tie. "There's just a lot we need to go through. But right now, we've got the motors of the buses running, ready to take you on a runner back to Sydney." He looked up "We need to get out of here as soon as possible to make sure we're there in enough time."

"Enough time for what?" Noah asked. His eyes narrowed. "Are we on company time or…?"

Ronan's face twitched, immediately drawing the suspicion of his adoptive children. Not that he was a bad liar by any means, but wasn't very good at keeping good news a secret. He was always the first one ready, willing, and able to give news, good or bad when the time came. He never sugar-coated. But when it came to speaking to his children and wanting to be a supportive force for them after all the years of pain they suffered, it was hard to keep a straight face.

"No, you can relax, we're all on our own time," Ronan said with a wave of his hands. "And I wasn't lying when I said you all did a good job, it was probably one of the best shows you've ever done." He gestured towards the closed door that barely contained the sound of the crowd still roaring outside.

A nudge at her shoulder made Riley look over and exchange a grin with her sister. A quick flicker of Rhuben's eyebrows, returned with a twitch of Riley's mouth got the message across loud and clear.

 _Another good show down. Piece of cake._

 _Keep it up._

Speaking silently had been something they'd learned to do ages ago and still relied on when not wanting to speak out loud. Such as other little quirks they kept within themselves as well as sharing with their family.

"But now that you've got this show done, you've got some time to spend to yourselves," Ronan explained. He took in a breath, trying to suppress the smile that threatened to come to his face, but slowly failed. It wasn't easy to keep things secret from them, especially when it was something good for all of them. "So, we'll take a few days off here before we head back to New York."

He watched as all five heads immediately perked up.

New York?

Not only was New York one of their favorite cities to visit, the urban metropolis was very similar to their hometown of Sydney, but it held a lot of things for them. Their grandparents—their mother's parents—lived there, it held some of the biggest shows and stages they'd ever played, it was where they had their first Christmas in the United States while on tour, and, more importantly, it was where they were headquartered when working with their friends McFly while trying to make a name in the US.

Of course, it wasn't easy for either band to make their name. The Jacksons had been bouncing back and forth from LA to New York while working on recording their albums for their American debut. Ronan, being the one who'd kept them in his hometown of LA while Jake Hardin was the one who brought them to New York. If it wasn't for their two creative minds to get their bands to work together, prompting more promotional material within their respective home countries of Australia and England for the bands' popularity to increase, they wouldn't have met in the first place.

And it was nothing but exciting for fans to see some of their favorite bands interact with each other. How many times had any of them seen fans on social media begging for Brendan Flowers and Brendan Urie to work together? New Found Glory and Sum 41? Simple Plan and Waterparks? The combinations were endless. So much so that, McBusted seemed to be inevitable.

"New York?" Sydney asked. He ignored Robin-Renee tilt her head back and innocently ask, "What's New Ork?" while continuing to spin his phone back and forth in her hands.

"Will the guys be there?" Patrick asked. He glanced at his siblings, who all started to share identical smiles, eyes lighting up to shoot down the dark storms that threatened to fill them. As exciting as going back to New York was, there was still the fact that a lot of their troubles stemmed from around their work there.

New York?

The million dollar question. Anytime New York was mentioned in any of their tweets, Facebook postings, Snapchats, or Instagram posts, guesses about whether or not McFly or Busted were going to be there would crop up. Theories about what they were up to started to form, with fans scouring through each band member's postings to determine if there was a connection between a simple tweet, a like, or a favorite. Wondering if that building in the background of that one picture was similar to the building in the background of that other one.

The _other_ million dollar question; _will the guys be there?_ Aka, will McFly be there? Aka, what sort of trouble could they get into when they were all together again? Aka, that one that never needed to be asked because the question was already answered before it was ever asked. If New York was in the equation, then McFly, the DarkElements—known as Blazing Phoenix—and mostly recently Busted—or McBusted as the two bands were currently collectively known—were all the solution. Having the three bands back together again would be nothing short of exciting, in more ways than one.

Ronan smiled, shaking his head. "Yes, McFly and Busted are going to be there."

Riley grinned and quickly sent off a text to their group chat. Simply an emoji of the Australian and UK flags with a plus sign between them and then with an equals sign with an American flag next to it. The US wouldn't know what hit them.

New York, here they come.

* * *

 _What a great show._

 _You played all my favorite songs. Some of the best songs you'd ever made. There were so many that you haven't played in years and you played them tonight. It was like you were speaking to me. Listening to everything I'd been asking of you lately. Standing in that crowd, at the very front, watching you through the entire show was like I was the only one there. I didn't mind the pushing and shoving from the others. There were no others. They didn't understand how much your music means to me._

 _I mean, I'm sure it means something to them, too. But more to me. You're everything I want to be and you make it easier for me to be my true self. I don't have to be a wallflower, I don't have to act like everything's okay. I can be straightforward, and coy, and smug, and smirk when I feel like it. Who the hell cares if I say how I really feel? Who the hell cares if I'm a bit cold at first, taking time to warm up to others? More people need to do it more often._

 _But that doesn't mean I'm not one to see life as it truly can be; a fairytale. Where a princess can be whisked off into the sunset, where she is treated like the princess she is and deserves to be. Where I receive the love and treatment that I deserve. You taught me that. You're strong and know what you want and I like that._

 _I just hope one day soon I can tell you to your face._

 _Where I'm not just standing behind a barrier, reaching up to you. Watching you perform on stage. But where I can be a part of your life and say it to you as a friend, as someone who loves you. As more than just a fan._

 _As a friend._

 _I hope that day comes soon._

* * *

 **A/N:** There are some plots in here that are from _WHTYB._ Just like what happened with some of our Big Time Rush stories, it doesn't mean that one way the plot goes means it's the 'canon' way. It's just us figuring out how things work. Let me know what you think of this one. Also, I figured out how to have _What Happened To Your Band_ work out so that'll be updated soon as well. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

 **Cheers,**

 **-Riles**


	3. Word On The Street Is That You Don't

**Ch _a_ p _t_ e _r_ T _w_ o**

* * *

"You can open your eyes now, Rhu, we stopped."

Rhuben shifted in her seat, pulling her cap low over her forehead. Blinked her eyes open to take in her surroundings. The people in the pods in front of her itching to get their things together. Wanting to be the first off the plane. Like the few extra seconds of waiting was going to kill them. She blinked, taking a deep breath, feeling the plane gently rumble beneath her, much slower than they had been before.

A good sign. She addressed Ronan's question, "How d'you know I wasn't sleeping?"

"Because you make this strange honking sound when you're asleep." Ronan smiled and flicked up the brim of her hat. He smiled into her scowling response. "I said honk, not snore. They're different things." He pointed his thumb over his shoulder. "Now Pat, Pat snores. You don't snore. Don't worry." Then he flicked her brim back down, sliding it all the way to her nose.

Rhuben laughed and pushed it back up. She lifted her arms, stretching all her muscles from her head to her toes, then lowered her hand to the armrest. She pressed her finger into the button on the rest directly to her right. She waited, the lower-half of her seat, the foot rest, slowly pulled back into a sitting position, the top half of her seat sliding into place as well. Despite how much she disliked flying, sitting in first class—and the extra leg room—was always worth it.

There was always getting to see her friends again, of course, but sitting in one spot for over twelve hours was enough to make anyone go crazy. Even with the mandated 'break times' where Ronan insisted they get up to walk up and back the plane, making sure they drank enough water. And made sure they ignored the other people in first class who had egos big enough to take down the whole plane—first demanding certain foods off the menu that were given to them, then there were the ones who continuously demanded drink after drink despite reaching their limit ages before.

Thank God for the invention of noise cancelling headphones. Rhuben pulled hers down around her neck and gathered her things together, noticing the plane, indeed, was taxing its way up the runway towards the tunnel that'd let them into the airport. Even from where she sat, she could see the large crowd that gathered by the window.

"Bloody hell, how do these people find out?" Riley asked, leaning over from Ronan's other side to peer out the window. She pushed her glasses up her nose and rubbed her eyes, having had been reading for the last five hours. "It's like they fucking teleport everywhere we're going to be, yeah?"

"Classic fan culture," Ronan commented. "They want to have the opportunity to meet some of their favorite people at every chance they get. The less people that are around, the easier it is for them to make an impression on said people." He shrugged modestly. "Also, you have to take into consideration that there are only a few airports that have flights coming in from Australia so it's not hard to narrow down."

"Oh yeah?" Patrick's head popped up over the back of Ronan's seat with Noah's and Sydney's following suit. Rhuben craned her neck to look at her brothers closely. Patrick smiled smugly. He folded his arms to rest atop the seat. "When was the last time any fans came out to see you?"

Ronan chuckled, shaking his head. Nevertheless, Rhuben was interested in the answer. She could admit there were many times she forgot that Ronan was a celebrity in his own right. His face wasn't put in the limelight the same way hers and her siblings were; but he still had a big name within the music industry. It hadn't been too long since his claim to fame, being the youngest music producer to win one of the most prestigious awards one could win. Had a hand in the production and writing of some of the biggest songs that spread across the world.

"I don't have fans," he replied. "I have co-workers."

Which was certainly true. There weren't many people that Ronan hadn't collaborated with who hadn't been a fan of his in some way, shape, or form. And, as he consistently put it, he preferred to work behind the scenes. Didn't find much stock in having to make appearances at parties or networking events—though that was more in the fact that he didn't enjoy wearing suits when he didn't feel he had to—and wasn't one that cared much for the lifestyle anyway. Though he'd always be the first to openly state that if it weren't for his job and his fame he probably wouldn't' have ended up with the Rhuben and her brothers and sister and, "for that, I'll always be grateful."

"So you don't miss people asking for your autograph?" Sydney asked. He pushed his way between his brothers, making sure he was front and center, as he always did when around his siblings. Being the youngest he always made sure he wasn't left out, despite how much care his siblings made sure he didn't.

 _Or,_ Rhuben thought, _we spoiled him a bit too much._ Which was very possibly the truth as well. It was hard not to spoil him when he was the one they protected the most from Robert's wrath. The age difference between them all didn't help matters much either.

"I don't miss that," Ronan said honestly. He stood up and made his way into the aisle, Rhuben pulling her feet back so he wouldn't trip. "And I also don't miss being followed every time I went to the airport." He leaned over and looked out the window. "I wouldn't mind having the time to work on my own stuff, though."

Rhuben frowned. Instinctively, she looked to Riley, who had an identical expression on her face as well. Her eyes twitched and even through that small movement, Rhuben knew exactly what her twin was thinking. _Are we holding him back?_ He'd focused his life on them almost since they met years ago, had a lot to do to work on their music, sometimes took on a few more clients if he weren't passing them off to his co-workers.

"Hm." Noah didn't say anymore, only made the sound of displeasure.

Ronan rolled his eyes and turned back to his kids. He leaned over them, making sure to look each of them in the eye. "Before you have some sort of a crisis over whether or not I'm squandering away my youth,"-he pointed a finger at Patrick, who'd opened his mouth for a joke about Ronan's age, prompting Patrick to slide down in his seat until only his eyes could be seen—"I'm perfectly happy with the clients I have and the way my career is going. You don't have anything to worry about."

"If you say so, mate," Riley said. The expression on her face showed she believed what he said. Her tone of voice said otherwise. Nevertheless, she stood up and started to gather her things, prompting her siblings to do the same.

Once their area was clean, making sure to throw away their trash and other loose items as well, they waved to the flight attendants and debarked the plane. Walking along the tunnel up to the airport, the Jacksons and Ronan stretched, then shuffled to the side so they didn't block the way for other passengers.

Every few people they'd receive the odd look, noticing them stop to pull out hats and surgical gloves. Yet they were too focused to stop. Riley craned her head when she heard the sounds of loud chattering increase in volume the more people that came out, then lowered at pockets between the large groups.

"How many you reckon are out there?" She asked, pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

"About fifty max," Ronan said. He lowered his nose over his phone. "Annaleigh says they've been camping out for most of the day. She's got a shuttle to pick up our bags, we just need to get to our car."

"I hope the guys here at least know to be careful with our instruments," Sydney commented, flipping a pair of lens-less glasses over his eyes. "I don't want to have to buy another violin… _again_. Do you know how much they cost?"

"The same as the rest of our instruments, I reckon," Noah remarked. "Considering the insurance we have on them." He shrugged into his backpack. "I'm more concerned of them being stolen, honestly. A good guitar like that…it'll go for a lot on eBay. Especially if fans get to them first."

"Okay!" Ronan put his phone away. "Our car will be around in ten minutes, that's plenty of time to get all the way to the pick-up area." He cast a cursory glance over his children and lifted an eyebrow. "That is, if I don't get stopped for suspicious trafficking."

"No worries." Riley grinned. A surgical mask hanging around her neck bobbed with each word she spoke. "We'll be sure we've never seen you before in our lives. And that you treat us like slaves." She gave a thumbs up for added effect. "I'm sure once they hear how little sleep we get they'll take us away in no time."

"You go ahead and do that and tell me how your next family works out," Ronan replied, not taking the bait for her snark. He'd certainly grown too used to it having had a been around his adopted children for years, long before adopting them. "Let's go." He nodded towards the sliver of the airport they could see from their place in the tunnel. "There doesn't seem to be too many people waiting. We'll need to go through customs."

"They're going to be disappointed they missed us," Patrick pointed out, though dutifully patted his pockets for his passport. "Are we going to do anything to make it up to them?"

"The same thing we always do." Rhuben pulled her mask over her face. She fastened it behind her ears. It pinched a little, pressing against the pulse point just above the bone. It could be annoying at times, she saw the looks of resignation pass over her brother's faces as they also pulled caps low over their foreheads, but useful if they wanted to pass by large crowds.

Who believed people that were in the public eye would be those five, inconspicuous looking Asian tourists walking through the airport, chattering away in high-pitched voices in a language most couldn't understand? It was a bit of a mean trick, passing by all their fans that waited for them with posters and gifts. She smiled behind her mask, noticing a few new puns of their songs they hadn't seen before. They always were creative. She wanted to stop, even muttering to Noah in Japanese how it would've been nice.

"Yeah," Noah agreed, also in Japanese, "But it's late. And we just finished a long stretch of traveling." He didn't add the other part, that it was some of the worst turbulence they'd experienced while flying in a long time.

It had been a rough patch when they approached and flew over Hawaii. A fall storm that wasn't uncommon for the tourist destination. One that big was a surprise. Leaning over to look out Riley's window, Rhuben could see lightning crackle in the clouds around the plane, shooting toward the ground. A flash of heat instantly gone as quickly as the eye could see. The same could be said for anything in their industry. A flash in the pan whose fans were the ones who decided whether or not they were a success.

And, somehow, the thought was lost on her siblings as they all slept soundly despite the plane shaking back and forth as they arrived in LAX. Thankfully, the flight into New York was a lot smoother. Enough so that her hands didn't cramp from how violently she grasped the armrests around her. It wasn't the flying that bothered her, honestly, it was the lack of control she had while flying. Maybe even a bit of claustrophobia. Too many places for something bad to happen with no way to escape.

She'd noticed it with Riley as well, despite her enjoyment of travel. Every time she stepped onto a plane her eyes would immediately dart to where they were sitting and then to an exit, formulating an immediately plan to get as far away from danger if the time came. _Old habits die hard,_ Rhuben thought. You could escape the danger, though the danger never really escaped you. Not when it's signs were all in your head.

Rhuben's stomach growled, prompting her to ding into her backpack for a pack of candy she'd left in the front pocket. Not that food from first class was bad by any means, but sometimes she wanted nothing more than the junk food they couldn't think to offer. She was digging in her bag when she noticed Sydney walking with his head bent, face close to the screen of his phone.

"What are you so worried about, Little Man?" She asked.

"I'm texting Anna," he replied.

At the mention of his youngest brother's girlfriend, Rhuben rolled her eyes. Not that she didn't like Anna, she was family to them, but sometimes she wondered if she and Sydney were a little too intense at their age. Or else, a little cheesier than she expected her baby brother to be in any of his relationships. Not only did she continuously check his flight paths whenever he traveled away from her, but he spared no expense to pay for in-flight wi-fi to keep in constant contact with her. Rhuben would've been jealous if it weren't for the fact that Sydney rubbed it in his siblings' faces every chance he got.

Lovingly, of course. He wanted nothing more for them to be happy with someone as he was but, "you have to stop being such boofheads sometimes." Sometimes the little bugger made her want to smack him.

"What could you have possibly not told her on the entire trip back here?" Rhuben asked, turning her violet-blue eyes to the ceiling in disbelief. She had a lot of music samples and photography work stored on her phone but even she wasn't on it as much.

"That my sister needs to get a life," Sydney dead-panned. "Because she clearly doesn't have anything else going on in it." Rhuben smirked, of which Sydney matched when he finally lifted his chin and gaze. "Like you weren't chatting to Dan the whole time you were on your computer."

He gave her a knowing look before she got the chance to deny it. Not that she'd ever deny talking to Danny Jones. He was a great friend and always seemed to be awake at the odd hours of the night, working on some sort of song or demo for some band. It was a wonder he was able to function at all during the day—and which she secretly wondered added to his less-than-intelligent reputation. She just hated the way Sydney looked at her when he said it, because he knew very well there was nothing going on between them otherwise. Danny was someone who knew how to take her mind off of flying when she was flying and after multiple tours together under their belts, it was nothing short of habit that she messaged him to see if he was awake.

As usual, he was, nattering away about a song he was working on for One Direction. She didn't particularly like the band or enjoy their music, but if there was anything she knew for sure, music was Danny's passion and it'd translate well for anyone who was lucky enough to benefit from his magical touch.

She talked to fans as well. Every time they went on a long flight they carved out individual time to jump on their social media accounts to post pictures and answer fan questions. That was always her favorite part, to see what sort of new things they'd be asked rather than the age-old ones from when they were just starting out.

 _What's your favorite genre of music?_

 _What's your favorite ice cream flavor?_

 _Do you wear anything other than purple?_

 _What's your most embarrassing moment onstage?_

To perform; rock, to listen to; hip-hop. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. If it's black, white, or gray, then yes, otherwise no. When she stood to do a crash ending of a song and missed her stool entirely on the way back down, crashing to the floor. How many times had it been repeated through the news outlets after that? Enough so that when she and Riley posed for the cover of _Girlfriend_ magazine, it was another big part of her section of the interview, to rival Riley's fall off the front of the stage straight to the ground—the crowd had been too surprised to catch her.

"That's different," Rhuben insisted. "Danny and I are just friends. I reckon you and Anna have been married since you two were born."

Sydney shrugged. "Maybe so. But that's my point, too, she's still my friend. And, I don't know if you've noticed, I don't have a lot of them." Rhuben's frown deepened. She heard the wistful note he tried to hide. Touring was hard. Being away from home was hard. Having to be in the public eye was hard. You didn't get the luxury of an 'off day' you had to be 'on' at all times. Even when the day was done and it was time to go back to 'normal' it took a long time to jump out of 'the zone'.

Having to do it all at one of the most emotionally charged ages wasn't easy. She and Riley managed to live through it, Patrick and Noah managed to live through it. But they'd always had their friends around to help, Sydney's only friend—and girlfriend, Anna—had her own modeling career to think about when not working for their band, splitting them apart even further. In their line of work, friends were a luxury to come by. Something to hold onto and admire every chance they got.

She understood if he was lonely. It was the part of their lives no one seemed to understand. They had everything they could want; how could they be lonely? How lonely can you be when you have so many fans clamoring to be your friends. Who'd do anything for a moment of your attention? _Even a simple five-word tweet could make their life,_ Rhuben thought. _When some time to just sit and be with my family, hang out with my friends, is hard to come by._

"You still have me," Rhuben said. She put her arm around Sydney's shoulders, adjusting her target as she did so. He'd grown a bit more over the last few months, now an even five inches taller than her and Riley. Little brother indeed. "And the others, you know that, yeah?"

"Yeah," Sydney readily agreed. He bobbed his head back and forth. Made a humming sound as if he were thinking. "But I don't pash with you guys."

Rhuben laughed. "Thank God," she said. "We've already got enough bloody weird rumors out there, I don't want that added to it."

She turned back to her backpack, digging her hand through the front pocket. Shen frowned and stopped walking, prompting the others to look at her. She zipped and unzipped multiple pockets, continuing to dig her hand inside.

"What's the matter, sis?" Riley asked. "D'you lose your passport? You can just use mine." She folded her arms and tilted her head. Skillfully ignored the disapproving look Ronan shot her way. "I doubt these blokes would even notice."

"Doubt they'd notice you committing a federal crime?" Sydney shot back.

Rhuben waved her hand. "Ah, just add it to our list of offenses," she joked. Then she shook her head. "No, I…" she couldn't quite explain it. She knew something was missing but wasn't quite sure what it was.

It wasn't important, anyway. They were only a twenty-minute ride away from being with their friends again and that excitement trumped everything else. If it was like any other time they caught up, they'd be up all night talking about everything they didn't say through video chats, phone calls, e-mails, and social media posts.

The internet was an amazing thing, but nothing beat being with friends in person. Rhuben sighed, bringing her hands up to run through her hair. She glanced at Riley, Patrick, and Noah, then glanced at Sydney, who was immediately back into his phone. The only one of the five of them—six if Ronan was included—who was happy with someone.

Not to say the others were _unhappy,_ not to say they were lonely. But there was only so much that friends could do for you emotionally than someone you shared your life with could. Maybe, she realized, it was time for them with their upcoming time off, to focus more on their own happiness and not what they were doing for their fans.

At least, not as obsessively as they did before.

Rhuben whipped out her phone and quickly composed a status update. _I Love New York-New York, New York._ The likes and comments came in fast, especially from the McFly boys, exclamation points and smiley faces abound.

After all, they'd do anything for their fans.

* * *

 _So, you're in New York now._

 _I waited at the airport for you. Waited along with the rest of your fans. They're fans, I'm ready to be your friend. I have to point out the difference between the two for you to understand how serious I am about all this. I could be a really good friend to you._

 _But right now, I'm a fan. I can swallow my pride and say that. I waited at the airport. You see, there are a lot of us that know where you're going to be when you travel; the airports you'll use, your flight times, and when you'll arrive for your flights because we want you to feel loved at every turn. We want you to understand that we wish you nothing but a good flight and that you arrive safely. On both ends. It doesn't matter where we're from; Europe, Asia, Brazil, Mexico, us fans want nothing more than for you to be safe and to have a good time._

 _But you're going to New York. You're in New York, rather. We all know what that means. That you're going to be hanging out with those McFly guys. You know a lot of us are jealous. Not because you're hanging out with McFly, but because they get to hang out with you. All of you. All the time. All day every day. We look at the pictures you post and wonder what it'd be like to be that close to you._

 _I get it, you need to keep a healthy distance between yourself and fans, because you don't know what's going to happen. Some fans may not be fans at all. Some fans may want to hurt you. But I'd never want to do that. Never want to have the opportunity come up._

 _And when we get a chance to meet, you'll understand why._

* * *

 **A/N:** I can't claim to come up with the idea of the Jacksons's disguises for the airport, our friend Jacqui came up with it in something she wrote for us before and it was great. And, again, this story focuses on Riley and Rhuben, though the other characters will be important as well, it just makes pacing/plotting easier in terms of not working with so many characters at once.

But there's plenty of chaos with the bands coming up starting with the next chapter, just needed to set a few things up first. _What Happened To Your Band_ will be updated soon.

 **Cheers,**

 **-Riles**


	4. You Want My History

**_C_ h _a_ p _t_ e _r_ T _h_ r _e_ e**

* * *

 _Just as I thought, you're back with your friends. I bet you're excited. There's plenty of people in your life that you like to see, but these guys are special to you. Everyone can see that. Even those guys you worked with before, that boy band, they were special to you, too. Much more than a lot of fans would know. But I know, because I feel that close to you. I understand because I feel we're the same person. The same people. You always put a lot of time and energy and perfection into the people you work with, but, somehow, these guys have always been different. Just like I put a lot of time and energy into my friends and the people around me no matter what._

 _I admire that, you're not just using them and they're not just using you. You actually care for them._

 _I guess it's a little hard for me to mention them by name. It's hard to know they're closer to you than I'll ever be. (For now, at least). That's the hardest part for all of us fans. The part that makes us crazy with jealousy. That there's always going to be people who are closer to you than we could ever get to be. We look up to you, to all five of you, so much. You're our role models, and for most of us, we know you have your own life that we don't get to see. And these other people, they get to be a part of that._

 _So…these friends of yours…The McFly guys. (I guess I have to mention Busted, too, but it's obvious you're closer to McFly). Well, can we even really call them that if they haven't put out any new music in a long while? This McBusted thing that's going on, that you're all talking about, it's going to crash and burn. It's a joke. No one is taking it seriously. Why would a bunch of grown men want to write songs that are, basically, the same thing they've written about since they were seventeen? Boobs, sex, drinking, why not grow up a little? I feel bad for you, to be being associated with it. It's going to bring your name down in the mud. No one will take you or your music seriously after that._

 _Honestly, I get a bit angry because there's so much more you can do with your music, with your careers. You can keep going higher and higher, touching more people, and these are the guys that you say you want to hang around with?_

 _But, they do say you're like the company you keep; I understand why you stick around them. Because you want to elevate them. You want to bring them up to your level. And, let me say, you've set a high bar for them to reach. It's like you've said in your interviews, you don't take the phrase 'best friend' lightly. None of you do; not even your brothers. Julius has had the same best friends since he was six years old, and he doesn't allow many people into his life at that same capacity._

 _It's cool, I understand._

 _You're the same way._

 _It had to be hard to even bring people into your life when you suffered through so much and had to keep a lot a secret. You don't trust people very well._

 _I remember in an interview Noah even said, "It's hard to say who is or isn't your friend and who isn't just in it for the parties you can get them into, the events, the things you can buy them. We've got some pretty good mates back home, but even in the industry it's hard to know who likes you for you, and who's just trying to get their name attached to yours."_

 _Do you get it?_

 _Do you get what I'm trying to say?_

 _Let me just put it this way; keep an eye on your so-called 'mates'. One of them is keeping a big secret from you. One that is probably better for you to know sooner rather than later. One who, I know, you greatly care about, but others haven't caught onto yet. The history, you know? But, if you want to sit back and let me say 'I told you so' that's fine. I'll be there for you._

 _Just like I always am._

 _Even if you don't know it. You see, we're very much alike. We both have big families. We both have gone through a lot of pain. Not the same sort of pain, mind you. I can't imagine why someone would think it was a good idea to hit you like that. To beat you up, to try and kill you all because they could. But I've been though some pain. Your music helped me through that pain. It gave me a sense of loyalty and knowing I'm not alone._

 _That's why I'm always going to be there for you. Through all the hard things you had to go through. Your abuse, through you announcing it to the world, through the invasive interviews and speculation afterward. I think the worst part is how much I defend you online and show how you and your brothers aren't as bad as people make you out to be. They can't and wouldn't understand unless they've gone through it themselves. I know what it takes. But people still only see the public persona you have to put out. People only say 'you deserved it' when you detailed some of your abuse. No one deserves something like that._

 _Especially when you're always so powerless to stop it. That's why I'm going to be there, to help you every step of the way. I will defend you until everyone understands why you don't deserve the hate that follows you. You have so many more fans that are there for you and want nothing but the best for you and we're going to make sure you understand that. So, I'll be there for you._

 _Always._

 _And, soon, when we meet, I'll be able to tell you this in person._

 _I can't wait for that day._

* * *

 **A/N:** It took me longer than I expected to get back to writing/updating this. There's more coming up. I hope the wait was worth it. Some chapters of this story, like this one, will be entirely from this POV, while others will have their POV at the end of the chapter (like others). I hope you

 **Cheers,**

 **-Riles**


	5. What Others Tell You Won't Be True

**Ch _a_ p _t_ e _r_ F _o_ u _r_**

* * *

Riley's eyes fluttered open when she felt something tickle her side; the sensation moving up to her face, dragging over her cheek. For a moment, she wondered if it was her dog, but knew it certainly couldn't be. No, her dog slathered up the side of her face to wake her up before he jumped his hulking 160lb frame onto her to wake her up.

No, this was different.

The sensation of something hovering over her was different. It wasn't the friendly presence of her companion for years, but of a person. She found that to be more horrific than any of the monster breath that could wash over her, but of a presence she didn't know was friend or foe. Her fight or flight instincts kicked in within a nano-second of her state of being; between asleep and awake. The horrific feeling she'd thought she'd gotten over years before.

Her heart raced, blood roared in her ears, adrenaline rushed through her body so fast that her muscles spasmed, tensing from head to toe, priming each muscle. Ready to launch herself out of bed and either attack what was coming her way or run as fast as possible. Her fingers curled into the fabric of whatever was below her, aching her muscles with how hard she gripped, still trying to decide.

Within seconds, multiple thoughts raced through her mind; what was that? What was that sound? Was it dangerous? What's standing over me? What's touching me? Do I have enough time to run? Can I take it down?

Am I in danger?

It took another few seconds for her to realize, with a warm wave of relief, that she wasn't in any danger. Had she been, a kick to the ribs, a slicing crack on the side of the head, a wallop to her back wouldn't have taken too long. She would've been struck even seconds before she could make up her mind about what was going on.

She didn't have someone towering over her, waiting to smack her upside the head to wake her up. Didn't have someone waiting to wrap their hands around her neck, ready to scream in her face for any slight embarrassment or defiance she may or may not have shown within the last few hours. She didn't have anyone ready to lift their foot and stomp on her ribs and stomach barking orders at her to clean the house. She didn't have someone ready to dump her out of bed, yank her head back, and smack her so hard in the face that blood pooled from her nostrils to around her mouth and drip off her chin as she looked at him defiantly, silently asking for more so that her brothers and sister didn't suffer from it instead.

She wasn't in any danger…she wasn't still on the plane listening as Patrick snored loudly next to her and Noah and Sydney laughed quietly while drawing on his face, she wasn't in a random hotel room somewhere around the world trying to figure out what they could get in room service before Ronan noticed the large bill, she wasn't lying on the floor of the green room, stretching before going on stage

She was…lying on a couch?

Riley's eyebrows furrowed, trying to remember everything that'd happened the night before. It was late when she and her siblings arrived back in New York. Something they hadn't really noticed when getting off the plane. Traveling and going to airports was always fun—if there weren't too many delays or cancellations—but arriving in the newest city when it was dark was the best. The way the lights shone around the streets, the way the nightlife was amplified to make everything even more magical than anyone's imagination could ever conjure.

The way those that were still out at night, still partying and going to their next event were as excited about life as they were to be in a new city. There was always someone to talk to, always someone to find who could recommend them a good place to stop to eat or a sight to see. Always someone who would instantly become your best friend the second a complement of clothing or hairstyle was mentioned.

That was the best part.

Always the best part.

That was what they saw when they got back to New York. Times Square lit up like a Christmas tree, the crowds of people running from store to store, event to event, shouting happily to each other, stopping to take pictures. Greeting those they didn't even know with the enthusiasm that only those who'd known each other for years could muster. New York in the day was a tourist hot spot with people following tours and taking pictures all over the place. New York at night was an entirely different entity; a place where even the weirdest were normal, and there was always something going on. With all its diverse neighborhoods, cultures, and people, New York made sense for them to return to when they weren't in Australia.

And arriving back there the night before, Riley was reminded, again, why she liked New York so much. It reminded her of Sydney. A home away from home. The familiar feeling of a nightlife and excitement that'd have her up for hours in the night. And it had some of her best friends. The moment they landed, her and her siblings' phones blew up with texts and calls from friends and family stationed in New York. They first went to their grandparent's place.

Autumn and Hiroki Himada had lived in New York for much of their adult lives, having given birth to their three daughters—the Jacksons's mother—Renee, her twin sister Kristen, and their younger daughter, Selena, who all grew up in New York before going their separate ways. Renee ended up in Australia, Kristen in Canada, and Selena in Japan.

Due to their life in Australia and constant touring, the Jacksons didn't see their grandparents as much as they would like, though continued to keep them intertwined in their lives in any way possible. Long distance phone calls strictly in Japanese, sending over any food and sweets they received when arriving in Japan, and emailing as many pictures as they could couldn't duplicate their actually being in their presence as much as they'd like.

It was great to see their grandparents again, knowing there was a place in New York ready for them to visit and stay if things got to be too much (as was easy to do within the within the music industry and in the public eye). Their grandmother, an American from the Midwest, doted heavily on her grandchildren, filling them with as much food as she could while ensuring they got as much sleep as a touring schedule would let them. Hiroki, a Japanese man, was a bit quieter than his wife who exuded exuberance and excitement, though wasn't one to shy away from a laugh and a good time. He joined in with the card games they played while eating, getting as competitive and loud as the others as the night went on.

If they showed any lasting disappointment from having lost the ability to take in their grandchildren at the most tumultuous point of their lives, it didn't show. It never did. They continued to protect them in as many ways as they could. And Riley, as always, was disappointed when having to leave her grandparents to continue with their grueling schedule.

Then again, nothing was better than seeing best friends you hadn't seen in a long while. The family you'd never had. They were all used to it; being in bands themselves, knew that they weren't always going to be able to travel with each other, work with each other, open shows with each other, tour for days on end with no company but each other. But had grown so used to the constant presence in each other's lives that, as they grew older and their opportunities for their bands and themselves changed, their time together was simply shared through social media and other forms of technology where they kept in constant communication.

So much so that once they arrived in New York and got back to the house, a welcome home party was waiting for them complete with food, music, and friends that lasted all hours into the night. If there was anything Tom Fletcher, Danny Jones, Dougie Poynter, and Harry Judd were known for, other than their music, it was certainly that they knew how to have a good time. Parties were something the boys had been interested in going to when their fame was mounting, but their managers, Thomas 'Fletch' Fletcher and Jake Hardin were quick to keep them from going to.

"You need to focus on your music," they always said. "Not partying and events."

The Jacksons, on the other hand, had a completely different experience. Since their first foray into fame and celebrity with their band, they did appearances to events and parties time and time again, getting their name out there as much as possible. Or course there were some events they could go to, there were always regulations stuck upon them—they had to have someone from management with them if they were too young. Couldn't be alone with certain people, couldn't talk to others.

Had to be careful of those they associated themselves with—an ironic conversation where they were usually the subjects of the hesitation.

But what both bands—what the large group of friends—could easily agree upon was that nothing was better than having a night to themselves, to hang out and talk and play music and catch up and laugh. To do everything friends did and not have to worry about it being put in the magazines later. Long nights of debauchery that, at points, had ended up as fodder for fans and critics alike to tear to shreds.

The night Tom, Harry, Danny, and Dougie met the queen was one that was remembered fondly—now—though at the time was something Fletch found to be highly embarrassing. All the while Matt's continued drinking and drugs made his times out on the town tabloid fodder that dragged his name through the mud and questioned his sobriety—and life decisions—within seconds. Despite their reputation, the Jacksons hadn't had many moments of scandals falling into the hands of the public.

There were a few parties thrown that got out of control here or there, there were the odd times where their friends' trouble got their names dragged into the mud, and the very few times their antics while on tour managed to become more widespread than they'd thought. But it all managed to be downplayed and swept under the rug with bigger announcements; such as their abuse and tour news.

The time the band spent together negated all of that. It was when they could stop being their celebrity selves and could be their _real_ selves. And so, for hours and hours they did nothing but laugh, eat, and catch up on everything they missed while gone. The Jacksons spoke about their shows, crazy fan stories, and what happened when they accidentally—it really was an accident—crashed a car while working on a music video and McFly told them about the songs they'd been working on and the demos they'd recorded.

When Riley had fallen asleep, she wasn't quite sure. One minute she was listening to Harry talk about a new diet and workout routine he'd found and the next, she was being consumed by the darkness of sleep. A surprisingly heavily sleep for someone who could shoot awake at the drop of a thumbtack to the floor.

Next things he knew, she rolled to her side and found Harry Judd standing over her, an oven mitt in hand. He wiggled it over her face, lightly running the tip over her nose. Riley laughed, relieved that she hadn't followed through with her initial thought to sucker punch him (just in case), and pushed the mitt away.

"I'm awake, Harry," she muttered, a smile forming.

"I don't know how you got to sleep in the first place," Harry replied. "I reckon all that noise would've woken the zombies."

"You don't know anything until you've sat next to Patrick's snoring for hours on end," Riley commented. She drew a hand across her face, making sure to wipe the sleep form her eyes. Then she frowned, realizing how much makeup she still had on her face. Probably made her look like a racoon. "Then again, you also wouldn't know how loud the rest of you lot snore."

"Clearly you weren't the one who was awake this whole time," Harry pointed out. He waved the mitten at her once more. "Everyone lying everywhere snoring their asses off."

Riley opened an eye, looking closely at him. "Yeah, I heard beer can do that to you." She ran a hand through her hair. "How long until breakfast is ready?"

"Few minutes. So, if you want get into the shower before Danny gets in there, I can hold it off a bit longer."

Riley sat up, stretching her arms. She vaguely remembered him talking to some random girl she hadn't met the night before. Not that it was too strange, as soon as a party was mentioned in New York, friends of friends of friends all managed to show up. That was when they had to be the most careful about the people around them.

Chances were, something was going to be put out in the news and all over social media the next day.

"I hope he knows what he's doing," Riley said, pushing herself off the couch. "But thank you for making breakfast." She rolled her eyes. "The only real food you lot'll get."

"You order a few too many pizzas and you're branded for life."

"I still feel sorry for your maid…" Riley lifted her hand and made a gun with her fingers, pointing it at Harry as she passed him heading for the stairs. "And for the fact that you even had a maid."

Harry shrugged. "Blame Fletch, he was the one who thought it was a good idea to put four teenagers into a house together."

"And he _and_ Jake _and_ Robert _and_ Ronan all thought it was a good idea to have all the rest of us live together, too?" Riley shook her head. "What were these guys thinking?"

She and Harry laughed as Riley ran up the stairs to her room. She ran up the winding staircase to the top floor and entered the room she shared with her sister, surprised to find Sydney, and not Rhuben, inside. Let alone on her laptop.

"Hi!" Sydney greeted cheerfully as Riley went into the room. As if nothing was amiss.

"'Hey, Syd," Riley replied.

"Was the couch really that comfortable?"

"Better than the floor of your room," she replied, suddenly remembering where her sister had gone to. She and her siblings had gone back to their room—the largest room in the house—to call Ronan and let him know they'd gotten to the house okay after he'd gone to his own rented apartment. ("I'm not stupid enough to stay overnight there," he'd said when they'd mentioned he'd may as well stay with how late it was). "Why are you on my computer?" She asked, cuffing her baby brother on the back of the head. He barely ducked out of the way, keeping his eyes on the screen. "Or in my room, for that matter."

"Patrick's snoring too loud and I'm doing maintenance on my laptop that's taking forever and I have some things I need to finish," Sydney explained. He frowned, almost pouting when Riley flattened her hand against the lid of her laptop and closed it. He twisted around to watch her flop onto her bed, holding her phone overhead so she could read through her twitter timeline. Nothing too interesting. "And you said your computer was running kind of slow." A grin slowly spread on his face. "Why? Is there something on there you don't want me to see?"

"If there was, don't you think I'd be a little more worried about you being on it?"

"Ehh, maybe not." Sydney shrugged. "Everyone who has something to hide, if they're smart, don't make a big deal about it." He bobbed his head. "Those that act jumpy when they've got something to hide are the ones who can't handle it, yeah? It eats them alive. Psychologically, they can't handle it."

Riley lowered her phone from her face. "You're too smart for your own good, Little Man."

"Story of my life." Sydney grinned and stood up, hearing Harry call from downstairs that it was time for breakfast. "But compared to the rest of you lot, there's not much competition."

Riley reached behind her head and threw her pillow at her brother as he raced from the room. From downstairs, she heard numerous voices and dishes clattering together. More people in one house that most would ever dream of. But anyone else from a large family would understand why it was the best sound.

Silence was discomforting. Silence was horrifying. Silence—and the irony wasn't lost on her—was a scary sound.

So, no matter the amount of times the boys could get on her nerves, how she'd struggle to find time alone, how there were times when she wished she were home, the sounds simply reminded her that she was around her family.

And family, the people who protected her, she realized, was becoming a harder commodity to find to be genuine the longer she stayed in the public eye.

The hardest part was knowing if that family would still be your family the more time you spent apart, knowing there was a lot to catch up on.

Absence made the heart grow fonder, but it was worrying that, with all the things you may have experienced, that things would set you apart, and ultimately leave you behind.

* * *

 _How long do you think it's going to take before you realize that these guys aren't really your friends? Okay, we all know that you dated around for a while. It makes sense. People that work that closely together are bound to get feelings for each other at one point or another. But we've seen what happens when that falls apart._

 _Brad and Jennifer._

 _Brad and Angelina._

 _Ben Aflek and Jennifer Gardner._

 _Taylor Kinney and Lady Gaga_

 _Those are the ones who had the biggest name recognition for their public breakups. And, I'm sure you know about those that are in those fake relationships just to promote something, those that are together because it's easy for them, those that are together because someone's gay or lesbian and they're trying to hide it, and there are those that appear so perfect on the outside but are rotten and putrid on the inside._

 _That's what I'm afraid you're getting yourself into._

 _These guys…well, I can't say I know them personally. But they don't look like they'd be with you in the long run. If they figured out everything you've gone through. And I mean everything. The things that you think no one in life could ever understand. They wouldn't understand._

 _They haven't gone through things as tough as you have. Their lives were perfect, compared to yours. Yes, their fathers may have left them. But you still went through a lot of pain. A lot of confusion. A lot of figuring out that the world and life isn't as bright as they try to make it seem._

 _Life is dark._

 _The world is dark._

 _You get that._

 _It's part of your band name. No matter how much you want to change your image—and you successfully do it every year—it's going to be a part of you. That darkness. That understanding of what life has to offer. So, it just makes me ask the question again…do you really know what these guys are like?_

 _Do you know the things they're keeping from you?_

 _Everyone has secrets._

 _I get that._

 _But these are secrets that will make them look different in your eyes. They'd betray you. These are secrets not well known to the public. Yes, there's the drinking and the drugs. That's all out in the open. (Honestly, I'm surprised you'd continue to hang with people like that, since you don't do any of that stuff. But you have said that you're a good judge of character, maybe I'm missing something). They couldn't keep something like that quiet for too long._

 _Things like that always have a way of coming out._

 _And, I'm afraid, the things that shouldn't come out will, if they're around them. The things that you're afraid of anyone knowing. The things you're afraid of them knowing. The things you'd rather take to your grave. You and your brothers and sister. Now, I'm not saying I know everything that you're trying to keep quiet, but there are ways people figure things out._

 _Everyone around you doesn't have your best interest at heart._

 _How do you think the illicit affairs, the drugs, the cheating…all those scandals of the biggest celebrites comes out? Because the wrong people are told, rumors are spread, and it comes out into the light. It's one of the few times that proves that the light doesn't always get its dues._

 _It's just desserts._

 _The light can be as damaging as the darkness._

 _Everything that needs to stay in the darkness should stay there._

 _Except for the important things. Except for the things that could destroy lives. Friendships. Relationships. Families._

 _Your secrets couldn't do that. Your secrets are the good secrets._

 _I just hope when you finally realize what these guys' secrets are, and how much they lied to you, that you'll understand why I'm so worried. I want to be able to tell this to you in person. And we'll get there. When we become friends. I can tell you all of this. I know you may not believe me. There's only so much that you'll be able to take without a grain of salt._

 _But I know how true it is._

 _I can prove it to you._

 _We just have to meet first. And that day is coming. I just have to wait for your next show, for your next appearance. As soon as it's announced, we can meet._

 _And I can explain to you everything you don't know._

* * *

 **A/N:** So, if you haven't seen my tweet about it, I'm contemplating deleting this story as well as my other two McFly ones (if not permanent hiatus/discontinuation) since I don't feel entirely happy with what I've done so far. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy and enjoyed writing it, but, to me, it doesn't feel as good as it could be. Not to mention with McFly not doing much of anything, my motivation to write has waned.

But I hope you at least enjoyed this one.

 **Cheers,**

 **-Riles**


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